another day!!

haih today!! another day without her...it has already been like 1 week plus!! and still nothing seems better!
i have turned from her lover to her just friends!!
it's sad thinking of it! looking at the messages. the past! and never know whether will ever have those times again!
i have been emoing for like so long!!! nothing seems better..i might be having fun talking to her as a friend!! but it will never be the same again i know it. but still i am here waiting!

i have cared for her so much last time! and now it is still the same!
want to care but will i ever be able to??
will she ever let me?
all the questions wondering in the head!!
all i wanted was a happy ending! but looks like it doesnt come to an end that early of life.it is just my sad beginning.

haih!! just a sad singing song day!! =P

today went to school sang, come home sang! sleep also sang!!
hahahaha =P
got to talk to joanna but it was just ok la, like a friend haih but still got to talk to her.
anyway let me just put up the names of the songs i have been signing lately! =P

:-realize-colbie caillat
fool agian - westlife
inconsolable - backstreetboys
our song - taylor swift
bleeding love - leona lewis
one last breath - creed
drowning - backstreetboys
if i let you go - westlife

If I Let You Go

day after day
time pass away
and I just can't get you off my mind
nobody knows
I hide it inside
I keep on searching but i can't find

the courage to show
to letting you know
I've never felt so much love before
and once again I'm thinkin' about
takin' the easy way out

but if I let you go
I will never know
what my life would be
holding you close to me
will I ever see
you smiling back at me
oh yeah
how will I know
if I let you go

night after night
I hear myself say
why can't this feeling just fade away
there's no one like you
you speak to my heart
it's such a shame
we're worlds apart

I'm too shy to ask
I'm too proud to lose
but sooner or later I've gotta choose
and once again
I'm thinkin' about
taking the easy way out

but if I let you go
I will never know
what my life would be
holding you close to me
will I ever see
you smiling back at me
oh yeah
how will I know
if I let you go

if I let you go, oh baby

oooh

once again I'm thinkin' about
takin' the easy way out

but if I let you go
I will never know
what my life would be
holding you close to me (close to me)
will I ever see
you smiling back at me
oh yeah
how will I know
if I let you go

but if I let you go
I will never know
(oh baby)

will I ever see you smiling back at me
oh yeah
How will I know
(how will i know)
if I let you go

14th, 15th, 16th. january

these 3 days ahs been fun and sad at the same time!
tried to hide all my sadness inside when i was in school!!

saw her again today!! she seems so happy!!!
haih wondering whether has she ever thought about me after the break?
does she every still have feelings for me?
will i ever get her back??
haih!!!
it is jsut so sad to look at her sometimes..but i still cant stand it without looking at her!!
i am such a stalker!!
haih!!

got to sms her again a few times these few days!!
still the same!! had fun talks and yet sad 1 casue i expressed how much i loved her. and that isn't appropriate.
haih!! jsut made it worse, but still it was ok nothing happened.
tried to hide it again!!! =( haih!!

have been stalking her!! i think haih!! jsut cant leave her
had to make sure she was alrigth all the time.
wanted to see whther i had a chance again..but seems it is a no!!!
she is like with the 2 guys from her class all the time when i see her from a distance!
she can never see me, like i was invisible!!
she saw me and like have to wait for me to look at her for a while like a stare witha smile!! imagine how scary is that. then only she looked back at me with a smile and jsut look away!
i had to smile at her!! hadn't had much choices!!
wanted her to be happy too!! haih!!
needed to make sure she doesnt see me hurt!! =(
hope she will be happy always..and just hope that i will be able to be happy 1 day again!!

she never said hi nor bye!!
she never smile nor frown!!
she never wave nor voice out!
she never will love me again!!! =(
haih!!!
but still haih!!!


Baby, I know the story
I've seen the picture
It's written all over your face

Tell me, what's the secret
That you've been hiding
Who's gonna take my place

I should've seen it coming
I should have read the signs
Anyway...I guess it's over
Can't believe that I'm the fool again
I thought this love would never end
How was I to know
You never told me
Can't believe that
I'm the fool again
And I who thought you were my friend
How was I to know
You never told me

Baby, you should've called me
When you were lonely
When you needed me to be there

Sadly, you never gave me two many chances
To show how much I care

I should've seen it coming
I should have read the signs
Anyway...I guess it's over
Can't believe that I'm the fool again
I thought this love would never end
How was I to know
You never told me
Can't believe that I'm the fool again
And I who thought you were my friend
How was I to know
You never told me

About the pain and the tears
Oh, Oh, Oh
If I could, I would Turn back the time

the few days after the break!!

today is the 4th day after the break up!!
haih lets just say it aint right!!
haih, we chatted for a while but!! is just for a while.
and like any normal friends!! she really has no feelings for me already!!!
OH NO NO NO!!!
haih!
I just love her so so so much!!! so hard to accept the faact!!!

still can't write much!!!
not high!! not crazy!! haih!!
jsut so down and haih!! sad!!! =(
but at least today was kinda fun!!
talked to her!! i mean smsed her..it was ok..kinda fun!! but still not that nice at all!! =(

haih!! sucky day!! =(

haih!!!
no mood to write anything now!!
haih!!!
why why why??!!!
it sucks!!! =(
haih!! didnt get to do what i wanted today, haih everythign went wrong today!!! =( :(
haih!!!! so so so so sad!!! just cant talk!!

she dumped me!!!!
she has no more feelings for me!!!
thats what she said!!!
haih!!! what ever i have done and every effort i put in!!
haih!!! it went just down the drain!!!!

can anyone help me now???
those words went right through my heart!! poking killing!!
"can we be friends?"
my god!! the worse thing anyone can say to you!!! =(
haih haih haih haih haih haih!!

the following week!! =)

it is the next week of the school!!
my weekend were just as normal!!
thought of her like the whole time!!! missed her so much!!
wished could be with her!! couldnt wait to go to school!!! hehe =)

when i got to school these 2 days it was so fun and nice!!
got to spend time with her everytime!!!
spoke more than we did in school last year!! and everything together!!!
so nice!! =) cant wait till the next few days comes!!!
just want to be with her!!!

just want to be next to her!! supporting her!! =)
and tomorrow i am planing something for us to do!! hehe =)

oh yea about my poem i thought of it while i was in bed at night!!
here it goes:-

Roses are red,

Joanna is cool,

Her lips are so smooth,

And i would love to kiss them too!! =)

;P

hehe cool?? yea..fromt he roses are red violets are blue poem thingy, but i changed it!! hehe =) by myelf!! =P

the next day!

It was like ok, just have to get back to normal school life again!
haih!! sadly have to wake up early.
can't stay up late and wake up late again till the next holiday comes!
but anyway, the good thing is that i get to see her again today!!! =)
so happy!! ;)
school just seems so much intresting with her in it!
but dissapointly and as sad it might be, we werent in the same class.
she had to go to arts stream..and i went to the sub-physics stream!

i am the monitor of my class. and she was the monitor of her class.
so perfect right?? haha what perfect match!!! =)
it seems that everything are getting better and better!! hehe =)

the 1st day of the new school year!

It was the most fantastic day ever of school man!!

I woke up so so freaking early!!

couldn’t wait to go to school..to get my new class...to get to se HER!! =)

nothing could be more perfect!!! =)

but sadly went there, and didn’t have the guts to say hi!
in the hall of the school seeing her talking with another guy, getting close.
just so so so annoying and frustrating, thinking has she still thought of me.
cause i am there looking at her from a distance!
she never noticed it but i did.
didn’t mention anything to her though, hope to just let it pass, cause after all i already have her heart

got to spend the lunch period and break time with her!
right there with her every time I could!!
just missed her so much during the long holidays!! =)
everything was fine today!! =)
nothing went wrong.
got the class i wanted..got the time to be with her!! everything was falling in place.
so happy today!! ;)
expecting a great new year to come!! =)